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Articles I wish I’d wrote

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Edmonton Oilers v New Jersey Devils
These new draft picks are really going to help our team end the rebuild!

Dear Copper and Blue Friends,

I’ve recently realized that I suffer from Oilers PTSD. They say it is important to talk about these things.

I show up in September hoping for a great season. I get my keyboard all cleaned up and ready to type. So excited that this will be the one. I lean back into my armchair and am ready to go!

I’ve had the taste of the playoffs once in 12 years. I’ve watched countless GM’s, coaches and former Oiler’s come in and watch them continually fuck it up. I’ve seen nothing but top prospects come in the organization and then leave it. I read the comments about how the Draft Lottery is all that we’re good at. That we are an AHL team that develops players for other teams. We never seem to be able to get all the prospects at the same time and near their peaks. They either get burned out by the Oiler’s or go on to win awards and Cups for other teams with very little return coming back. I’ve been hearing about ‘stud Dman’ since before Facebook was invented. I just, very recently, listened to my GM explain we don’t have a good passing Defenceman. This is odd to me given this is his third year on the job and that’s what he said 3 years ago. Even worse is how many assets (Hall, 2 picks for Reinhart and the beauty of a contract he gave Russel) have been spent to solve the problem while not solving it.

As a result, I’ve gotten a reputation of being a Debbie Downer. I’ve even been accused of not being a fan. Yet, there I am in the 3rd period of another classic Oiler loss still typing away. No turning off the TV for this guy!

What I think people don’t realize is that I’ve written 1000’s of positive articles on the Oiler’s but, unfortunately, most of them never got published. Here are a few samples of articles that never made it to print:

Adam Larsson winning the Norris was the right call

Taylor Hall signs with Kloten of the Swiss League after being waived by NJ

Ryan Strome rebounds to his 50 point career high

Milan Lucic is criminally underpaid

Preseason success on RW translates into regular season success

Empirical proof why our 22nd pick is more ‘NHL ready’ then the 18 guys taken before him

Cam Talbot is back to .918!

Oiler’s secondary scoring has really blossomed

Why Bouchard is better than Boqvist and Hughes

Peter Chiarelli was robbed on the GM of the year final voting

Our new Assistants fixed the PK and PP overnight!

Bam! Stanley Cup!

Jordan Eberle waived by the NYI after his notorious soft play

Kris Russel should’ve got 2 more years and an extra million per

Devan Dubnyk signs with a DEL team after no takers in free agency

Kailer is more NHL ready than Chytil, Necas and Zadina

Jesse is on pace with fellow Finns Rantanen, Kontkaniemi and Laine this season

Kailer deserves the Selke

Chia needs an extension

Leon Draisaitl has earned every cent of that contract

Drake was an amazing find by our GM, should’ve got 4 x 4

Matt Benning flourishing as a Top 4 Dman

Zack Kassian brings the Oiler’s the grit they need to dominate the Pacific

We need to extend Jesse before he gets offer sheeted

Congrats to Todd for his Jack Adam’s win in Vegas last night

I can’t see how Talbot doesn’t win the Vezina race

Evan Bouchard needs to start the season in our Top 4

The Old Boys Club show everyone they know a thing or two about winning

Yakupov proves naysayers wrong with 40 goal campaign

Justin Schultz demoted to Wilkes Barre after trade

The CHL and AHL are not good for development, we should send everyone to the NHL as it is the best development league in the world!

David Desharnais wins the Conn Smythe

Paul Coffey should be the coach

Move over Karlsson, Burns and OEL. We got a new sheriff in town and his name is Darnell Nurse!

Strome was the winger McDavid needed all along

Ty Rattie scores his 50th of the season in a win over San Jose to clinch the Pacific

Here is the date, location and time of the parade...