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Oilers make mayonnaise in Nashville matinee.

Unfortunately, this is a 100% real photo of a Nashville Predator in its natural habitat - the Oilers' zone.
Unfortunately, this is a 100% real photo of a Nashville Predator in its natural habitat - the Oilers' zone.
Steve Roberts-USA TODAY Sports

Our heroes touched down in the land of banjos and barbecues to take on the Nashville Predators in a Sunday afternoon hockey match. Both sides arrived on time, anthems were sung, babies were made. Dreams were crushed. And then reignited. And then, subsequently, crushed again.

What started off as a possible shootout, turned into a probable larceny with conspiracy to commit bullshit. The officiating crew took 7 minutes to figure out how to download .gifs onto their Kobo e-reader for a review, before making a call so egregiously incorrect that I find it hard not to suspect they had some money on today's outcome.

What a joke. Remember decisions like these when the NHL locks out in a couple of years. Not because they're related in any way. But just because.

Otherwise, I'm going to take a different approach today. I've been very adamant this season that I believe the Oilers to be an average team propped up by arguably the best hockey player ever made (Young Pope, I'm looking at you) and some plus goaltending. So, as a result, I too am going to try the one-line approach, as sort of a nod to the great decision-makers of the Edmonton Oilers. I'm willing to bet that it will leave you, the reader, as disappointed as it makes me, the fan.

Game Highlights

First Period

The Young Pope can wrist.

Second Period

The Young Pope is pissed.

Third Period

I believe referee to be latin for 'idiot'.

Loser Point

Look, the Oilers are still third in the Pacific Division. And yes, that Pacific Division still has teams in it. Other teams. Other NHL teams even. Allegedly.

But. The Oilers' lead over the Flames shrunk from 10 points to 4 as fast as you can say, "I'm sick with the flu and would like a flu shot please don't cut in front of me Sean Monahan I'm just a woman or child." And the Oilers are now just 10 points in front of the ninth-place L.A. Kings, who just acquired Ben Bishop because hey, maybe no GMs are good at their job.

But I digress. All it takes is another week of being the second-best team in a game of two teams and the Oilers' lead over the Kings could shrink too. They'd better hope that this recent run of form doesn't stick, and that they can return to their not-as-good-as-their-record-but-not-as-bad-as-Kris-Russell ways ASAP.

We're elbow deep into squeaky bum time folks, and you better cut down on your bad fats because this spring is probably going to screw with your heart a little bit. You're going to cheer. You're going to cry. You're going to laugh. You're going to laugh, but like, out of spite also. It's going to be fun. It's going to be agonizing. But either way, it's probably going to be better than the refereeing was tonight.

Miss you, Taylor.