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Oilers Hang On, Beat Flames 7-5.

What do we know, do we know things?

NHL: Edmonton Oilers at Calgary Flames
This happened 7 times tonight.
Candice Ward-USA TODAY Sports

For this momentous Battle of Alberta, with the visiting Oilers (11-14-2) limping into town with a depleted roster to take on the home town Flames (14-11-2) on Hockey Night in Canada, I decided to try something new. In an effort to same time and, well, effort, I’ve decided to simply publish my live-tweeting of this contest. I hope you enjoy. But, also - perhaps more accurately - I don’t care either way.

It was received as you might expect:

The Oilers were down Adam Larsson and Cam Talbot, two important pieces of an already underachieving roster. How did they do? Did they do well? Let’s find out:

First Period

As a reprieve from what amounted to a pretty tough start, I decided to poke fun at the Flames’ first unit powerplay in a tweet that would hold up, 100%, throughout the game. [Note: It would not hold up. Letestu later scored, as did the Flames powerplay.]

The Oilers, through Jesse Puljujarvi, got on the board first, and I was so excited I forgot the hashtag.

Patrick Maroon scored to stretch the Oilers’ lead, but it was called back promptly.

It wouldn’t take them long to extend the lead for real. Uncle Jesse was at it again:

I’m nothing if not self aware. And objectively hilarious:

The Flames got one back. Poor Ryan Nugent-Hopkins didn’t a two-on-one very well and the lead was cut in half.

And then, the Oilers found a third via Jujhar Khaira:

Second Period

How are people liking this idea, you ask?

Mark Letestu found another for the visitors:

At this point, it’s 4-1 for the good guys. Forgive me if I got a little lazy.

Ho hum, ho hum. Drake Caggiula missed a breakaway before Leon Draisaitl also missed a breakaway.

Objectively. Funny. Otherwise, they were continuing to do some work.

And then the most magical thing happened. Commentator Cassie Campbell-Pascall said TAKE A SHIT on national TV. I kid you not. Naturally, I noticed.

Inspired by Campbell-Pascall’s stirring speech, the Oilers kept pushing with Milan Lucic cashing in to make it 5-1.

Third Period

What do you think?! Also, worth a mention:

Shortly after this one, the Flames made a goaltending change, bringing on David Rittich in exchange for the struggling Mike Smith. It did not go well, with the young netminder promptly giving Maroon a gift:

Then, Laurent Brossoit appeared to have a small-to-medium stroke for the next 10-15 minutes. Don’t believe me? Look:

At this point I realized that the Game Thread had been.... Let’s say misplaced. So that took up my focus for 3-5 minutes. Finding it. Yes, finding it.

Kris Russell fell over, and before you knew it, it was 6-4. Squeaky bum time in full effect.

I handled it well. Classy, even.

Thank god for TJ Brodie’s cowboy-being parents though. The Oilers managed to break up ice with just over a minute remaining on a two on one, before Brodie’s effort to stop the pass ended up ricocheting past Rittich and into the net. Oilers 7, Flames 5. It will be interesting to see whether Brodie’s cowboy roots are as strong as Russell’s, and to what degree he will wear that error over the weekend. The Flames did just lose to the lowly Oilers, after all.

Loser Point

Well, the joke’s on me. Turns out, this method of cobbling together an article is just as much, if not more work. Talk about your all-time backfires. If you liked this, please, do not get used to it.

The Oilers were quite good for the bulk of this hockey game, but Brossoit looked about as confident as I do before a dentist appointment, and I don’t floss as much as I’m supposed to. I’m just kidding, I don’t go to the dentist.

This win was the Oilers’ third in their last four outings, leaving them still on the outside looking in, but like a little closer so maybe they can smell what all the good team’s in the playoff picture are cooking for dinner. Or tapas. Anyway.

Next up, the Oilers have a couple days off to sort out ‘everything going on in the room’ before taking on the Flyers on Wednesday. The Flyers are about as cold as can be right now, so hopefully the Oilers can continue to build on this recent run of not being the worst team in the league.