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Sabres 6 - Oilers 2 -- Hello Reality, My Old Friend

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Oilers get spanked by labouring Sabres team, proving that it's never too early to make huge conclusions.

Puck, meet net.
Puck, meet net.
Perry Nelson-USA TODAY Sports

Welp.

Silly me. I'm an idiot.

What on god's green earth could have given me the idea that the Oilers might be different this time around?

I had watched this game in earnest. Diligently taking notes with my pen and pad (yes, I did that) while rewinding in the event my eating of a footlong sub sandwich caused me to miss anything of note. Paying attention to who McDavid started with, who he double shifted with and when, and eventually who he finished with. Looking at Kris Russell's footwork. Watching Adam Larsson's positioning. Laugh-crying at Cam Talbot.

But for what?!

Game Highlights

What a waste of fucking time. It was even a mildly egregious waste of paper. The Edmonton Oilers are the same pile of dogshit in 2016 they were from 2006 to 2015, only this year they have the audacity to package it in a shiny new box and charge twice as much to smell it. Fire Chiarelli.

The Edmonton Oilers aren't even a one line team, they are a one player team with half a defense and a third of a goaltender, and the forward depth of a Grassland rep team. Thank god for Connor McDavid.

If the Buffalo Sabres' lineup were a spider, tonight it would be missing it's two best legs thanks to the sadistic, Sid-like neighbor that is lady luck. But the Oilers couldn't still take advantage. Why?

Well, it's pretty simple: the cronies in management have systematically robbed this team of its good players for over a decade. Constantly trading $50 gift cards for a bag of Gushers like the new kid in school who doesn't know the market. This method of madness will keep bad teams bad, and the Oilers exclusively make these kinds of deals. Continiously Robbing Peter to pay Paul until eventually Peter got AlarmForce and Paul starved to death. The Oilers are the most frustrating entity in professional sports. I promise, if the Oilers don't get their collective shit together in time to stop McDavid from leaving as a UFA, I'm finding a new team. You might not think it can happen but hey - I didn't think the Oilers would trade the best left wing in hockey for a decent defenseman either. There is no ceiling to this stupidity.

I'm rambling now. Basically, the point is, that If I knew a kid like the Oilers in grade school I wouldn't have had to eat a single god damn Lunchable in my life. Thanks Oilers. Thanks for being good when I was too young to appreciate it, and irresponsibly shitty for my entire adult life. Thanks for rewarding the guys responsible with even cushier jobs and even more money. Thanks for ostracizing the good players who wanted to be here. Thanks for allowing yourselves to become even worse than a laughing stock - a source of pity. Your actions continue to embarrass us, and we are no better for it.

Up next, the Oilers try to put the mask they brought to games 1 and 2 back on, in the hopes they can trick all of us they're a better team again. I obviously have my doubts. They'll do that against another NHL club presumeably. The Hurricanes I believe. Yep, the Hurricanes. Set your PVRs accordingly.