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Jonas Hiller and the Flames' third line dismantle Oilers

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NHL teams are shifting into their extra playoff gear while the Oilers are stuck in neutral.

Perry Nelson-USA TODAY Sports

Highlights

Oh come on, Calgary. You are going to have to do way better than that if you want to compete in the playoffs.

The LA Kings whipped us by a difference of six goals. Six! I’m sorry to say it but blowing out the Oilers a mere 4-0 just isn’t enough to compete in today’s NHL.

Admittedly, I took my father-in-law out last night and had to keep an eye on the game from afar, amongst the din of a downtown kareoke bar. A lady in skull-print pajama pants nailed Pat Benetar’s Love is a Battlefield. A fellow with a shaved head and leather jacket took himself very seriously as he sang Bush songs and loped around menacingly while his girlfriend quietly questioned her life choices. I brought the house down with Bon Jovi’s Bed of Nails.

All that was nothing though compared to the TV above the bar, where the Oilers continued to embarrass themselves:

Two minutes in, Matt Fraser has a shot on net that serves up a juicy rebound for Jordan Eberle but a sprawling Jonas Hiller robs him. Then off the same play the Flames skate it back. Defenseman Dennis Wideman gets it over to Mason Raymond who wrists it on net. Joe Colborne crashes the net and jams it in. 1-0 Calgary.

At eight minutes into the game the Oilers are all spinning around like table hockey figures as the Flames get repeated whacks at the puck as it bounces around the defensive end. Luckily the Flames are such a stupid hockey team they can’t score on this amazing opportunity.

Midway through the first it’s Derek Roy and Nail Yakupov generating the best chances for Edmonton but nothing to get them on the board. Jonas Hiller comes up big for Calgary.

Four minutes into the second, Jonas Hiller once again shuts down another Oiler chance after Andrew Miller picks up a loose puck right on the doorstep.

However the Flames second goal comes from a terrible defensive meltdown with two minutes left in the second. Oscar Klefbom tries to pass it back along the boards to Martin Marincin but it is intercepted by Josh Jooris. Klefbom flails at it only to turn it over again. Jooris passes it over to Markus Granlund. Ben Scrivens inexplicably hits the deck to dodge the puck sailing over top of him and into the net. 2-0 Calgary.

Three minutes into the third, Kris Russell passes it over to Dennis Wideman who rifles it into the top of the net. 3-0 Calgary.

Halfway through the third, Calgary gets a three-on-one as Hudler rings one off the post

But finally Ben Scrivens gives the fans the classic Ben Scrivens they had been waiting for. The Flames lob it into the Oilers defensive zone. Ben Scrivens comes out to Scrivens the puck and Scrivenses it straight to Josh Jooris at the blueline. Jooris sends it over to Markus Granlund who puts it in for his for his second goal of the game and eighth goal of the season.

That one’s a real knee slapper.

After that an elderly fellow tried to steal my father-in-law’s Roughriders hat and I thought I would have to break up a fight between two senior citizens.

That would have been a hella bigger contest than what I just watched on the TV.

First period

18:01 FLAMES GOAL Joe Colborne assisted by Mason Raymond, Dennis Wideman 1-0 Calgary

Shots Flames 8 - Oilers 11

Second period

2:04 FLAMES GOAL Markus Granlund, assisted by Josh Jooris, Dennis Wideman 2-0 Calgary

Shots Flames 11 - Oilers 6

Third period

17:50 OILERS PENALTY Keith Aulie cross checking, drawn by Joe Colborne
17:44 FLAMES GOAL Dennis Wideman, assisted by Kris Russell, Sean Monahan. 3-0 Calgary
1:08 FLAMES GOAL Markus Granlund, assisted by Josh Jooris.

Shots Flames 10 - Oilers 10

Total shots Flames 29 - Oilers 27

Texts from my buddy in Calgary: