Oilers Lose, Netflix Announces "Series of Unfortunate Events" Adaptation

Netflix announced today that it will produce a series based on the popular children's novel series titled "A Series of Unfortunate Events."

"A Series of Unfortunate Events" to be adapted by @netflix as a new series: http://t.co/lZrf4oJWWT …

— Lemony Snicket (@lemonysnicket) November 5, 2014

Though it may come as a surprise to those unfamiliar with Snicket's work, the series has nothing to do with the Edmonton Oilers, who felt the need to inject their lineup with a dose of ineffectiveness and immobility today as Keith Aulie was recalled and Martin Marincin was sent to the OKC Barons.

The Marincin demotion is strictly a "paper transaction" and he’ll be back with the team shortly, but that doesn’t solve the riddle of why exactly he’s riding the pine instead of Keith Aulie, who has failed to look good at any point in his career as an Oiler—even with the Barons, apparently.

Here's Eric Rodgers of Tend the Farm, quoted earlier in Ryan's post on the Marincin/Aulie transaction:

Keith Aulie has struggled the most, posting a -9 [goal differential] so far this season, far and away the lowest on the team while averaging an estimated TOI of 17+ minutes.

First Period: "The Bad Beginning"

Despite paying upwards of fifty dollars a month for NHL Centre Ice, I still can’t watch the Oilers play the Bruins on my own television. This is frustrating, very much so. But I digress. Apologies for the lack of notes on the period, as I frantically attempted to patch together some way to watch the game.

6:52 Dougie Hamilton is off for tripping and the Oilers go on the powerplay.

9:44 Matt Hendricks heads off for hooking. Bruins to the PP.

14:34 Krejci is called for a double minor after high-sticking Leon Draisaitl.

14:49 Boyd Gordon makes good on the first half of the double minor by banking in a weird one off a rebound to the left of Rask. It barely crosses the line before the Bruins defender pulled it out. Oilers go up 1-0.

18:45 Reilly Smith gets a bit of a weak one past Ben Scrivens as he enters the zone and fires a wrist shot high glove side from above the circle. I believe it was Nikita Nikitin who was soft at the blue line on that entry.

20:00 As the period winds up, David Krejci is called again for a stick infraction. The Oilers will start the second on the PP.

The War On Ice game report tells the story of one team being out-played at 5v5, as Boston had 10 shot attempts to Edmonton’s 6 at even-strength. The Oilers had six minutes of time with the man advantage in the first. That should be a gift of a period, and instead we’re tied 1-1.

Second Period: "The Slippery Slope"

2:50 Benoit Pouliot shows good speed carrying the puck into the Bruins zone and getting a hard wrist shot on net. That leads to a few more shot attempts and eventually a Bruins icing call.

3:50 Nikitin comes off his side to pressure Lucic, and this creates a 2-on-1 for the Bruins. Nikitin is called for hooking on the play. Ugly sequence for him.

5:21 Scrivens makes a save on Marchand and the whistle goes, despite the puck coming loose. The Bruins bang it into the net, but it’s called no goal.

8:30 Nugent-Hopkins breaks up a near-breakaway for Brad Marchand. The Bruins are pressing, the Oilers are reeling.

10:11 Scrivens makes a good glove stop on a Joe Morrow shot on the rush. Lucic gives Scrivens a healthy bump after the play.

12:00 The Nugent-Hopkins line applies some decent pressure in the Bruins zone, and are using Schultz and Nikitin effectively at the point.

18:30 The Bruins have a strong sequence off an offensive zone face-off and get a couple of quality scoring chances. Oilers absolutely can’t give up a goal late in the second.

19:40 Arcobello makes a nice pass up to Yakupov who is on the move at the Bruins’ blue. He gets a hard shot on net.

After a flat first period, the Oilers lead the bruins in 5v5 shot attempts with a CF% of 58.18 thanks to strong play after the thirty minute mark. NESN has the scoring chances at 11-9 for the Bruins after two.

Third Period: "The Penultimate Peril"

1:44 Mark Arcobello comes up big at the start of the third period by putting away a rebound. Tukka Rask made a questionable play up the sideboards and Yakupov was smart to fire it right on net. 2-1 Oilers.

3:00 Bergeron nearly puts one away for the Bruins in tight, but just barely missed the net.

3:30 Yakupov takes a stick in the chops. No call on the play.

3:50 Chris Kelly goes off for holding. Oilers can put this one away—in theory—with a goal here.

6:45 The Bruins go in on a short 3-on-1. That’s a head-scratcher. My rec league team doesn’t even give those up.

8:03 The Bruins have another goal waved off due to a quick whistle. The puck is clearly loose and Krejci shoves it in. A nice break for the Oilers.

9:12 This time around, the referee takes his sweet time blowing the whistle as Loui Eriksson hammers away at the puck at the side of the net for a handful of seconds.

11:04 The Bruins make up for the one that got waved off earlier. Eriksson gets in behind Justin Schultz and beats him to a rebound. All tied up at two.

11:58 Keith Aulie makes his presence felt shortly after that tying goal with a penalty for holding the stick. Huge kill for Edmonton here.

12:29 There it is. Patrice Bergeron beats Nikitin on the side boards and passes it off the Carl Soderberg who nets a PP goal to put the Bruins ahead. There was a delayed call coming to Nikitin on the play too. The Bruins will keep the man advantage for another two minutes.

13:38 The Bruins go up by two on their second consecutive powerplay. Jesse Joensuu played the point aggressively and Dougie Hamilton got behind him. It goes right under Scrivens’ left pad. Hard to blame him as Hamilton had a lot of time to get that off, but Scrivens should be able to get down fast enough to save the shot he ended up getting off.

15:15 Nuge puts one off the post after a very pretty cycle from the top line. No dice.

19:52 Milan Lucic adds insult to injury with an empty net goal. The Bruins beat the Oilers 5-2.

In Conclusion: "The End"

Iiro "The Hero" Pakarinen flew approximately 5.5 hours from Oklahoma City to play just 5:50 tonight against the Bruins, while Keith Aulie saw NHL ice for sixteen minutes—which is sixteen too long in the opinion of most fans.

The Edmonton Oilers currently sit dead last in the Western Conference and fourth-worst overall in the league.

This really is a series of unfortunate events.