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8-9-4, 0.95 p/g		6-12-4, 0.73 p/g
Western Conf: 14th		Western Conf: 15th

Top Story: Everything new is old again. The Oilers are 14th in the conference, the Jackets are 15th. Thanks to the terrible teams in the bottom of the east, the Oilers are only 24th in the league, but the Oilers are fading fast. The Oilers made a huge move yesterday, acquiring Mike Brown from Toronto. Brown will play on the fourth line and punch people. Expect him to fight on his first shift with his new team. No doubt the fight will energize his teammates and give them momentum while protecting the stars. It's all quite simple, really.

The Oilers are saying:

"When Ralph needs to revamp our forecheck, we think Mike has enough speed to get in the forecheck."

--Steve Tambellini, with his usual eloquence.

The Opponent is saying:

"Wow, we suck, but even we didn't trade for Mike Brown."

--Columbus Blue Jackets fans.

Key matchup: Does it really matter?