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Cam Barker Out for a Month; Oiler Fans Secretly Pump Fists

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Terrific news out of the Edmonton Oilers camp today as the team announced that another defenseman is hurt. Or, rather, one of the same defensemen: after missing a few games with a shoulder problem Cam Barker will be out for as much as a month with what Tom Renney called "some kind of sprain in his ankle".

Barker, who is allegedly "some kind of hockey player", has missed fistfuls of games at intervals over the last three seasons with some kinds of ankle sprain. Sensible men would say that this, combined with his being terrible at hockey, would suggest that an NHL team shouldn't hand Barker a multi-million dollar contract. But the Edmonton Oilers have never played by the rules, and so we have 2011's winner of the Ethan Moreau Memorial "I Shouldn't Be Glad He's Hurt... But I'm Glad He's Hurt" Certificate of Merit.

No official word yet on who'll replace Barker long-term, but whoever it is, he can't possibly be worse.