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What Really Happens Behind The Bench

Moores: The approach will not be easy. You're required to maneuver straight down this trench and hold the puck to this point. The target area is only four feet wide. There are small holes in five locations around Osgood. The holes lead directly to the back of the net. A precise shot will put us in an ovetime situation which should win us the game. Only a precise shot will put us in an ovetime situation.
Torres: That's impossible. Even for Hemsky.
Stoll: It's not impossible, I used to bullseye those shots for the Kootenay Ice back in junior; those holes weren't much bigger than Osgood's.

Cross: Man, Markus Naslund looks good. Just like in my poster. I wish I could see his hair.
Huddy: *cough* Gay! *cough*
MacTavish: Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Cross: I just said he looked good. It isn't gay to acknowledge that a man looks good.
Huddy: It doesn't help.

MacTavish: Did you hear Laperriere mock my tie? Robert, you said this tie went with this suit. I will send you back down to Springfield if you make me.
Nilsson: No, it looks great, especially with the striping on the shirt. I don't know what Ian's problem is.
Gilbert: Laperriere has the same tie, but he won't wear it. In 2005 I was at the Avalanche training camp, and Laperriere took me aside and said he would only wear it when he won the Selke.
Stortini: Seriously? Could I win the Selke?
Gilbert: No.
Pisani: Man, Laperriere looks pissed.

MacTavish: Do you see that woman behind me? We went to high school together, and I could hear her mocking my penalty kill. MY penalty kill! I mean, mock the power-play, sure, but- anyways, point being, you must kill this penalty!
Horcoff: I dunno, those Kings are pretty good, and I'm only a second-line centre.
Reasoner: It isn't true, Shawn.
Horcoff: Everyone says it. It must be true. And they make fun of my eyes.
Reasoner: No, Shawn, you are a first line centre, and you have nice eyes. Besides, everyone, even Jason here, said that Matty was always injured, and he's playing tonight!
Tjarnqvist: Did you say that, Jason?
Smith: Uhhh... how's it going, Lups?
Horcoff: Bless you, Marty. Bless you.

MacTavish: I win! I win!
Moores: With the Death Star destroyed, the Rebel Alliance can celebrate it's great victory...
Stoll: Give it a rest, Bill.
Cogliano: Come on, leave Mooresy alone. You know how much he likes the next part.
Moores: Duh, duh, duh-da-duh, da, duh-da-duh, da, duh-da-da-duh!

Pouliot: ...and then he made fun of me having three names...
MacTavish: You come over here and apologize, Lapierre... that's right Ian, you're French too and that was below the belt.
Torres: Seriously, though, don't you think Marc-Antoine sounds a bit girly?
Pisani: *nods sadly*