The latest offering up at Covered in Oil has me thinking about the players on the teams remaining in the playoffs. How many would I like to see lift the cup over their heads? How many would I love to see on the golf course? With that in mind, here's the Official Copper & Blue Hate List:
Detroit Red Wings
Daniel Cleary - former Oiler finally made good, and he's playing through injury. +2
Mark Hartigan - from Fort St. John, my hometown. +2
Niklas Lidstrom - the best defender in the NHL and a sure-fire hall-of-famer. Classy to boot. +5
Chris Osgood - hard not to like a guy who takes as much crap as this guy does. +2
Chris Chelios - Pure evil defenceman who is now about 1000 years old. -1
Dominik Hasek - There are few players I hate like "the Dominator". An Academy Award & Golden Globe winning actor, Hasek refused to play in the playoffs for the Senators a few years back, and on top of that helped send Curtis Joseph to Grand Rapids. -5
It's Detroit - I don't like cheering for the Red Wings. -1
Total: +4 - Not evil.
vs.
Colorado Avalanche
Andrew Brunette - I can't remember who said it, but someone said that if there you opened a can labelled "hockey player", Andrew Brunette would come out. One of the all-time expansion era beneficiaries. +2
Peter Forsberg - He's dirty, he's evil, he plays on one foot. That said, he's one of the most exciting guys I've ever seen, and I still remember a play where Wes Walz was checking him, and despite carrying the puck, Forsberg dropped Walz with a clean shoulder check. I like him. +2
Joe Sakic - An all-time great who has only ever played for one team. Toss in his personal history (Swift Current, for example) and his level of class, and you have the kind of athlete you can almost reconcile with the term "role model". +5
Ryan Smyth - +8
Tyler Arnason - I swear he's scored half his career goals against Edmonton, which means he probably has a pact with Satan. -3
Jose Theodore - Mr. Inconsistent. Suffice to say I'm not a fan. -3
Colorado Avalanche - They're divisional rivals who were good for a long time. -5
Total: +6 - Not Evil.
San Jose
Brian Boucher - Always liked him, he seems so happy whenever I see him. +1
Mike Grier - Pain doesn't hurt. +7
Joe Pavelski - I like him for unknown reasons. +1
Alexei Semenov - Ah, Alexei. You're still in the NHL? +1
Patrick Marleau - It isn't his fault that hf posters for years have said "why cant we get a numbor 1 center like Marlow?" Still. -2
Kyle McClaren - Sure, elbow Zednik in the head again. -4
Jeremy Roenick - He was going to be in the negatives, than he scored 4 points against Calgary in Game 7. 0
San Jose Sharks - They employed Bryan Marchment that year he went knee on knee with Weight. When Weight tried to fight him he crouched in the fetal position at centre ice. 6'4 Bryan Marchment, cowering in fear of Doug Weight. -5
Total: -1 - Ambiguous
vs.
Dallas Stars
Nolan Baumgartner - this is an irrational pick, but I've always pulled for this guy. +1
Jere Lehtinen - from Finland! +4
Toby Petersen - Powerplay specialist! +3
Brad Winchester - I remember you, from playing Detroit... +1
Sergei Zubov - ever-underrated, Zubov's been one of the best for a long, long time. +3
Mike Modano - Hello, old friend. How many games have you put away for the Stars in the first round, hmmm? Do you remember those Todd Marchant matchups? A hex on you, and your descendants! -5
Steve Ott - Do I need to explain? -3
Mike Ribeiro - Neck spasms, Mike? Really? -5
Marty Turco - He plays goal for Dallas, and he slashes. Eddie the Eag.... wait you say it's somebody else? Oh well. -3
Dallas - I hate Dallas. I remember the hatred swelling inside me as I realized we were going to play them again. And again. And again, and on and on. -15
Total: -19. Evil. Pure evil.
Cocnlusion: I present your Western Conference Heroes: Ryan Smyth and his Colorado Avalanche!
Detroit Red Wings
Daniel Cleary - former Oiler finally made good, and he's playing through injury. +2
Mark Hartigan - from Fort St. John, my hometown. +2
Niklas Lidstrom - the best defender in the NHL and a sure-fire hall-of-famer. Classy to boot. +5
Chris Osgood - hard not to like a guy who takes as much crap as this guy does. +2
Chris Chelios - Pure evil defenceman who is now about 1000 years old. -1
Dominik Hasek - There are few players I hate like "the Dominator". An Academy Award & Golden Globe winning actor, Hasek refused to play in the playoffs for the Senators a few years back, and on top of that helped send Curtis Joseph to Grand Rapids. -5
It's Detroit - I don't like cheering for the Red Wings. -1
Total: +4 - Not evil.
vs.
Colorado Avalanche
Andrew Brunette - I can't remember who said it, but someone said that if there you opened a can labelled "hockey player", Andrew Brunette would come out. One of the all-time expansion era beneficiaries. +2
Peter Forsberg - He's dirty, he's evil, he plays on one foot. That said, he's one of the most exciting guys I've ever seen, and I still remember a play where Wes Walz was checking him, and despite carrying the puck, Forsberg dropped Walz with a clean shoulder check. I like him. +2
Joe Sakic - An all-time great who has only ever played for one team. Toss in his personal history (Swift Current, for example) and his level of class, and you have the kind of athlete you can almost reconcile with the term "role model". +5
Ryan Smyth - +8
Tyler Arnason - I swear he's scored half his career goals against Edmonton, which means he probably has a pact with Satan. -3
Jose Theodore - Mr. Inconsistent. Suffice to say I'm not a fan. -3
Colorado Avalanche - They're divisional rivals who were good for a long time. -5
Total: +6 - Not Evil.
San Jose
Brian Boucher - Always liked him, he seems so happy whenever I see him. +1
Mike Grier - Pain doesn't hurt. +7
Joe Pavelski - I like him for unknown reasons. +1
Alexei Semenov - Ah, Alexei. You're still in the NHL? +1
Patrick Marleau - It isn't his fault that hf posters for years have said "why cant we get a numbor 1 center like Marlow?" Still. -2
Kyle McClaren - Sure, elbow Zednik in the head again. -4
Jeremy Roenick - He was going to be in the negatives, than he scored 4 points against Calgary in Game 7. 0
San Jose Sharks - They employed Bryan Marchment that year he went knee on knee with Weight. When Weight tried to fight him he crouched in the fetal position at centre ice. 6'4 Bryan Marchment, cowering in fear of Doug Weight. -5
Total: -1 - Ambiguous
vs.
Dallas Stars
Nolan Baumgartner - this is an irrational pick, but I've always pulled for this guy. +1
Jere Lehtinen - from Finland! +4
Toby Petersen - Powerplay specialist! +3
Brad Winchester - I remember you, from playing Detroit... +1
Sergei Zubov - ever-underrated, Zubov's been one of the best for a long, long time. +3
Mike Modano - Hello, old friend. How many games have you put away for the Stars in the first round, hmmm? Do you remember those Todd Marchant matchups? A hex on you, and your descendants! -5
Steve Ott - Do I need to explain? -3
Mike Ribeiro - Neck spasms, Mike? Really? -5
Marty Turco - He plays goal for Dallas, and he slashes. Eddie the Eag.... wait you say it's somebody else? Oh well. -3
Dallas - I hate Dallas. I remember the hatred swelling inside me as I realized we were going to play them again. And again. And again, and on and on. -15
Total: -19. Evil. Pure evil.
Cocnlusion: I present your Western Conference Heroes: Ryan Smyth and his Colorado Avalanche!