Editor's Note: Before clicking on the video after the jump, be warned that it's not safe for work or family consumption. If you are among a group of people who may find a man's buttocks offensive, you might want to wait until you're in a private place before continuing.

You may know longtime 'Sphere resident Travis Dakin from comments on various blogs and message boards or from blog posts like "To My BFF Ales Hemsky". Now you can know Travis on a more personal and intimate level.

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Finishing 30th overall, unthinkable to fans just six weeks ago, seems like an inevitability for the Edmonton Oilers. The team sits just six points ahead of the Columbus Blue Jackets, but have won just 9 times their last 33 games. The Jackets have won 10 of their last 33 games. The Jackets' goal differential over that span is -27, the Oilers' differential is -29. Even if they manage to avoid yet another last place finish, 29th looks like the best a team with razor-thin depth and questionable NHL goaltending can manage.

So another top pick in the Oilers' perpetual rebuild will join Taylor Hall and Ryan Nugent-Hopkins as the franchise saviors, Edmonton's Holy Trinity, if you will. Nail Yakupov, the Russian forward playing in Sarnia is the clear #1 in the midpoint rankings and Mikhail Grigorenko, the Russian forward playing in Quebec is #2. Grigorenko is just clear of #3 Matthew Dumba, the physical defensemen with power play acumen plying his trade in Red Deer.

Given that the Oilers lack any sort of defensive depth on the NHL roster, fans are rumbling about drafting a defenseman in June. But blueliners mature by the sundial, and any defenseman with an extended development timeline wouldn't be ready to contribute at a high level until Taylor Hall was UFA-eligible. That leads the Oilers back to the Russians - both labeled as gamebreakers - at the top of the first round.

It also leaves the Oilers' future in the hands of General Manager Steve Tambellini. Tambellini must find two top-end defensemen via trade or free agency, unless his scouting staff feels that Dumba or Murray will be able to contribute at a high level at the age of 18.

I don't typically publish the hatemail I get because most of it is poorly written and not funny. This one however, struck me as worthy of notoriety and careful public scrutiny. Presented without comment, from Cam in Edmonton:

Zona all you ever do is chrip people on twitter. You think you are so smart but are an idiot. But I do agree with you that Tamby should be fired not for the reason you think he should be fired because he isn't going far enough in this redbuild. If the Oilers want to be the 2nd dynasty and be truely great they have to truely suck first. They need to finish last again and get at least another 1st OV. Tamby needs to get rid of all of this vets that suck and let the kids play. He needs to get more kids that want to be Oilers like RNH and Ebs. But he won't because of people like you.

I would replace him with someone ballsy enough to willing to trade Hemsky and Smyth to the Pens for their 1st OV and Joe Morrow. He is he prefect guy to spring Hallsy. I would trade Gagner and Gilbert to the SUCKS for Corey Schnieder and let him learn from bulin. I would waive Shawn Horcoff because he sucks. They can trade the 1st OV to Nashville for Shea Weber and still have a 1st. Then they have a PMD and tough guy for each pair. Morrow and Weber with Smid and Barker and Teubert and Peckham. Campbell will be ready next year. All they have to do is sign a sniper like Semin and then they can bring up the rest of the kids to play with RNH Ebs and Hallsy.

As the Oilers fall towards another last-place finish, the fiery rage of the twice-beaten fanbase continues to grow. As I was listening to one of the songs on this list, it occurred to me that rooting for the Oilers is like getting into a new bad relationship every year. With that, I present the six stages of a relationship with the Oilers, set to music.

Stage 1: A burning passion for hockey and all-things Oilers.

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In homage to the brilliant Fire Joe Morgan:

In response to Brad Marchand's clip of Sami Salo, Brendan Shanahan issued a five-game suspension to Marchand and posted the following video on NHL.com

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Yesterday our panel touched on the biggest surprises and disappointments of the 2011-12 season to date. Today, the panel attempts to figure all of this out. First and foremost, General Manager Steve Tambellini will have to deal franchise cornerstone Ales Hemsky or sign him to a long-term deal. But what comes after that? The Oilers are playing their way towards a top three pick in June. Defensive depth is still a huge question mark, and the current management team is still unproven.

Like Edmonton fans everywhere, the panel looks to the future.

Our lineup this time includes Pat, from Black Dog Hates Skunks, a guy being driven towards the brink by this team, Jeff Chapman, the man behind Oil On Whyte, Jerconjake, who carves through the numbers at Oil Acumen, dawgbone98, who continues to embarrass panels with his tactics posts, Scott Reynolds, Copper & Blue's intellectual force, Derek Zona, who preaches that we're all just slaves to the math, Ryan Batty, the guy with so much optimism, he still attends every home game, and Lowetide the multi-media star, owner/writer of three Oilers' sites and an Oilers' radio show.

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The Oilers sit 27th in the league at the half-way point of their season with 35 points. They hit the half-way point in 09-10 with 36 points and finished last. They had 33 at the half-way point 10-11 and finished last. Most fans weren't expecting a playoff team this season, but another trip to the lottery is one of a number of disappointments. Even in the midst of yet another lottery season, there have been some high points and highlights, but they've been few and far between as injuries have besieged the team over the last month.

To get a wider view of the season so far, we asked our writers, as well as a group of esteemed guest writers, to break down the season to date.

Our lineup this time includes Pat, from Black Dog Hates Skunks, a guy being driven towards the brink by this team, Jeff Chapman, the man behind Oil On Whyte, Jerconjake, who carves through the numbers at Oil Acumen, dawgbone98, who continues to embarrass panels with his tactics posts, Scott Reynolds, Copper & Blue's intellectual force, Derek Zona, who preaches that we're all just slaves to the math, Ryan Batty, the guy with so much optimism, he still attends every home game, and Lowetide the multi-media star, owner/writer of three Oilers' sites and an Oilers' radio show.

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Without some sort of hockey god intervention, the Oilers are headed back to the lottery for the third year in a row. The percentages and the soft early schedule allowed them to jump out quickly, but that hot start belied the structural issues with the team. By points per game the Oilers sit 13th in the conference, 24th in the NHL and they're one of the coldest teams in the NHL at the Christmas break. They're a second pairing short of just being a competitive team and their goaltending is bound to snap back to reality soon.

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