A man who had suffered many years in an incompetent organization, who had lost the love of many of his fans, and whose body had begun to break down sought out Mr. Holland after leaving practice early, begging to be healed: "If you are willing, you can trade for me, and make me whole."

Moved by both compassion and self-interest, Mr. Holland reached out to him and said, "I am willing, and so you will be made whole." Instantly, the man was filled with life! It was as though a weight had been lifted from his surgically-repaired shoulders, and he went on to perform admirably over the next several games. But he did not forget the stern warning that Mr. Holland had given him: "Don't tell anyone about our conversation. Instead, let our scouts examine you. Play with heart, and a scorer's touch for this is what we will require of you. This will serve as a public testimony that you have been made whole."

Once the trade had been completed, the man could not keep himself from praising Mr. Holland and his anything-but-incompetent organization. As a result, even more people talked about Mr. Holland's genius, and though he tried to stay out of the public eye, people kept wanting to speak with him about his magical team that never seemed to decline.

Edmonton Oilers (21-27-5) @ Detroit Red Wings (35-17-2)

Joe Louis Arena, 5:30 p.m. MST
Television: TSN

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Don't you realize that even though every team wants to win the Stanley Cup, only one of them actually wins? So if you want it, the least you can do is put in the work! The athletes are disciplined in their training - you couldn't get them to lose on purpose no matter how much you tried! So why don't those who play from the pressbox and are charged with the big picture also act in this way? At the very least, discipline yourselves like the athletes so that you aren't made to look foolish making trades and signing players in free agency. You have spent a lifetime working up to your current position, so don't throw it away now!

Edmonton Oilers (21-26-5) @ Toronto Maple Leafs (27-19-6)

Air Canada Centre, 5:00 p.m. MST
Television: Sportsnet West

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Then Tambellini spoke to the crowds: "That game was a sign for us, a reminder of the covenant that God made with our fathers! Let each uncircumcised man in our midst be circumcised by one who is! Each uncircumcised man must have his foreskin cut off so that we will remember that God is with us! From this day on, we must circumcise each male child on the eighth day after his birth in order to remember God's covenant with us and the miracle of the eight-point game, which was given to us in the midst of our suffering. This command applies not only to fans in Edmonton, but to fans all across the world! All must be circumcised so that our very bodies will be marked by God's favor. Any male who fails to either circumcise or be circumcised immediately denies that I am a true prophet."

Detroit Red Wings (35-16-1) @ Edmonton Oilers (20-26-5)

Rexall Place, 8:00 p.m. MST
Television: CBC

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When Tambellini left the draft with Lowe and MacGregor, they came back home to Edmonton. Now, the Oilers were a repulsive team, and the whole city was very concerned. So Tambellini went to the fans, and spoke encouraging words to them about the team improving, and about following a plan. The whole city was reassured and prepared a feast in Tambellini's honor.

When January arrived, it was clear that the team had been cursed by demons and struck down by disease. The whole town gathered to ask Tambellini what needed to be done. So Tambellini went out to them and said, "Do I want a lottery pick? No.... but.... the cure for any sickness is a first overall pick; and if the team has a demon, it can be cast out by the power of a first overall pick. What we need to do now is get another first overall pick. And then all will be well."

Chicago Blackhawks (29-15-7) @ Edmonton Oilers (19-26-5)

Rexall Place, 7:30 p.m. MST
Television: TSN

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Skate on your outdoor rink and look around.
Who created the ice and snow that are needed for this great game?
Each flake falls at its appointed time,
like a disciplined army that human wisdom is unable to predict.
The snow and ice are a symbol of God's great power and strength,
they are elegance unsurpassed yet have the power to destroy.

He is the one who gives strength to the weak;
he is the one who gives power to the powerless.
Would you rather trust in youth?
Even the young grow tired or get injured or leave for money!
But those who trust in Yahweh will be delivered.
They will fly through the playoffs like eagles through the air,
they will resound with praises at every goal,
and rejoice with thanks at every save.

Colorado Avalanche (26-23-2) @ Edmonton Oilers (18-26-5)

Rexall Place, 7:30 p.m. MST
Television: Sportsnet Oilers

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I must appeal to you one more time, my dearest friends. Watch out for people who try to cause your fandom to be divided and upset your faith by trying to teach you things that are contrary to the truth we brought from God. If someone says, "You really ought to cheer for the Canadian teams! Let's bring the Cup home!" don't listen to him! If you can't bring yourself to mock these people, just stay away from them entirely. They are not serving God, and do not actually care about the Oildrop. They are trying to deceive the weakest among us who "just want everyone to be happy" or who are still in the infancy of their commitment during this time of great trial.

But I know that most of you reading are obedient to God's call for faithfulness, and that makes me very happy. I just want to remind you so that you continue to walk in the way of wisdom and so remain innocent of any wrongdoing. And do not worry, dearest friends, the God of peace will soon crush the Canucks, first by removing them from the playoffs, and then by purging their Satanic influence from our most holy organization. May the grace of God be with you always.

Edmonton Oilers (18-26-4) @ Vancouver Canucks (29-15-4)

Rogers Arena, 8:00 p.m. MST
Television: Sportsnet West

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Then Yahweh said, "I will raise up a prophet from among the people. I will put my wisdom into his mouth, and the words he speaks will bring life to a dying people. I will make those who contradict his message look like fools because their predictions will be proven wrong. But before this takes place, any prophet who claims to speak the truth but doesn't have my blessing - or who fails to seek my blessing at all - must be purged."

San Jose Sharks (26-14-5) @ Edmonton Oilers (17-26-4)

Rexall Place, 7:30 p.m. MST
Television: TSN

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Then Yahweh came to the prophet a second time and said, "Get up and go to the city of Calgary, and deliver the message that I have given you."

This time the prophet relented and went to Calgary, a city with so many traffic problems that it took three whole days to see it all. On the day that he entered the city, the prophet shouted, "In just seventy-seven days, you will see that this team has been destroyed, another mediocre finish that leaves them out of the playoffs and with no hope for the future!"

Some people believed this message, and started to mourn. Some shared their mourning on the radio, other on blogs, and still others put paper bags over their heads during games. When Jay Feaster finally heard about what the prophet had said, he came down from the rafters, walked to the middle of the ice, and before all the fans, put a paper bag over his head and issued this press release:

"No one may eat or drink or be merry. Men, women, and children should all join me in mourning, and everyone must confess that the message delivered to us from an Edmontonian is in fact God's word. We must acknowledge that this team of ours isn't great; we must stop mocking the consistent failure of the Oilers; and we must acknowledge that the only way for us to win is by God's grace. Who knows? Maybe the great God of the Edmontonians will change his mind and prolong our life."

When Yahweh saw their humility and repentance, he changed his mind about destroying the Flames, and helped them to a spot in the playoffs.

Calgary Flames (22-20-6) @ Edmonton Oilers (17-25-4)

Rexall Place, 8:00 p.m. MST
Television: CBC

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