TORONTO - APRIL 13: Edmonton Oilers GM Steve Tambellini speaks after being awarded the first overall pick during the NHL Draft Lottery Drawing at the TSN Studio April 13, 2010 in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. (Photo by Abelimages / Getty Images for NHL)
"Hi Steve, how are you?"
"I won the lottery this year, Don."
"I know, I saw that."
"Pretty poiseful, huh?"
"Well not really Steve, you finished 29th, so the odds weren't that steep."
"Yeah, but we had to finish 29th first! Do you know how much evaluation that took?"
"Okay, Steve, you are pretty cagey, did you call for a reason, we're kind of busy here, trying to prepare for the playoffs, ya know."
"Oh! Yeah, well, we've been evaluating our club here and I feel we have the place to get that. I said we had the pieces to make the playoffs, and after more poise and evaluation, I have clarity and poise."
"Steve, I didn't understand any of that."
"Oh, sorry. What I'm saying is that there are opportunities in for moves to become. And clarity demands accountability."
"Steve, are you offering a trade?"
"Yes, this Soviet kid..."
"Steve, the Soviet Union hasn't existed for two decades."
"Ah, this Russian, ya know, Yaca...Yucca...what? *muffled* I'm on the phone with Don! Who is that kid we don't want because he's Russian? That one. OUCH! Will you stop it? That hurts! Yakupov! Yes! Sorry, Don. Yakupov would look great in Phoenix, don't you think?"
"You're offering me the first overall pick, Steve? What do you want in return?"
"Well, I wanted Ray Whitney, but our guy in charge of scouting, Stu, he yelled at me when I said that. He threatened to hurt me if I didn't get some defense, and he's a big guy and well..."
"You're looking for a defender, Steve?"
"Yeah, and don't try and pull a fast one, like giving me your 7th-best prospect. I, well, I didn't this time, Stu told me he did...there was evaluation and we have time and opportunity and have a strong mesh in that there are Sweden..."
"Look, Steve, I really have to go, do you want to trade the #1 for Oliver Ekman-Larsson?"
"*muffled* Are you sure we don't want to keep this and draft...OUCH! HA! That's the third stick you broke on my head, STU...pid! OUCH! Alright, alright already. I'll say it! Don? Yeah, the Ekmanson kid."
"Steve, look we're getting set for the playoffs, but that sounds like something we can discuss right after we win the cup. Call me back in May. I'll speak to you then, good-bye."
"Don, I understand how evaluating is important and see how much poise you have in that process."
"I marked it right on the front of this 'Staticstical Analysis' file."
"Don? Don? I think he hung up."