Our Take On The Ryan Smyth Trade Controversy

by Derek Zona on Aug 10, 2011 11:30 AM MDT in Miscellaneous

One of these men is headed to Los Angeles as a substitute for Colin Fraser.

Steve Tambellini tried to trade Gilbert Brule away for Ryan Smyth so that the Kings could buyout Brule's contract, but was shut down by league lawyers. Then he actually did trade Colin Fraser to the Kings in exchange for Smyth, and all was well until Dean Lombardi revealed the extent of Colin Fraser's foot condition, believed now to be necrotising fasciitis or something like that.

If you'd like to read all about what went on and what's going on in the Smyth deal, check out the excellent reporting done by Rich Hammond, the op-eds from David Staples, or Lisa's analysis on the conflict now known as Mulletgate.

As for The Copper & Blue, we'll leave divining the levels of corruption in the hearts of men to others. We'd rather have some fun.

Top 5 people Dean Lombardi would rather do business with:

Bernie Madoff
Gordon Gekko
Nicholas Yvon Bonamy
Charles Ponzi
Kevin Lowe

The next 5 players Steve Tambellini will attempt to substitute in the Ryan Smyth trade:

Gilbert Brule
Peter Puck
Bernie Lomax
Gunner Stahl
Daryl Katz' Son

The top 5 punishments Bettman is likely to serve to the Edmonton Oilers:

Reversal of the Dustin Penner trade
Force Steve Tambellini to eat all of the leftover pancakes from Kevin Lowe's fundraisers
Relocation of the Edmonton Oilers to Quebec
Reversal of the Wayne Gretzky trade
Award a lifetime Oilers' service contract to Nikolai Khabibulin

Now taking suggestions and improvements to our lists in the comments.

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Award a lifetime Oilers’ service contract to Nikolai Khabibulin

Is that the equivalent of the NCAA’s “death penalty”?

Original member of the Mike Weber bandwagon!
To make up for lost time, the Sabres signed six seasons worth of front-loaded cap skirting contracts in one week.

by Ubiquitous on Aug 10, 2011 12:15 PM MDT reply actions

This is death penalty plus. It’s drawing and quartering and sending the limbs to the corners of the empire

Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.

by Derek Zona on Aug 10, 2011 8:23 PM MDT up reply actions

not necessarily. Make sure Bullin has enough vodka, white powder, and gasoline for his Ferarri, the rest is a matter of time.

by Screaming69 on Aug 10, 2011 11:30 PM MDT up reply actions

The top 5 punishments Bettman is likely to serve to the Edmonton Oilers:

Replace Colin Fraser with Ales Hemsky

Hemsky will then blow out a knee in training camp causing Lombardi to again lose his shit and publicly slam the Oilers entire organization for sabotaging the Kings

by Joe Girth on Aug 10, 2011 12:30 PM MDT reply actions

The next 5 players Steve Tambellini will attempt to substitute in the Ryan Smyth trade:

Cameron Abney
Darcy Hordichuk
Ryan O’Marra
Johan Motin
Ben Eager

OK this might just be my list of contracts I could do without..

by Joe Girth on Aug 10, 2011 12:41 PM MDT reply actions

Force the Oilers to hire Bruce McNall as Chief Financial Officer and lead contract negotiator

Hiring of Laura Pronger for Team Image Consultant

Retroactivly approving the Nylander contract

by AdR23 on Aug 10, 2011 1:14 PM MDT reply actions

Retroactivly approving the Nylander contract

That’s a beauty

Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974. It's a scientific fact.
Writer for The Copper & Blue and a frequenter of the time waster that is Twitter.

by ryanbatty on Aug 10, 2011 1:20 PM MDT up reply actions

Rob Schremp is going to play in Sweden this season.

Sure wish MacT had given him a real chance, man….

by DarrenV on Aug 10, 2011 2:07 PM MDT reply actions

In my perfect scenario

1. Void the Smyth trade.
2. Immediately follow with a RFA offer sheet to Doughty.
3. For the finishing move, re-submit a trade offer of Brule and Fraser for Smyth, who will only wave his NMC to come back home.
4. Follow Hellen Elliot on twitter for the hilarity that would soon ensue.

by Matt.N on Aug 10, 2011 11:38 PM MDT reply actions 1 recs

This is genious! I almost wish the Oilers went to the NHL and asked them to reverse the trade so they could offersheet Doughty. Lombardi’s head would explode!

by AdR23 on Aug 11, 2011 7:37 AM MDT up reply actions

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