Canucks Down Oilers 5-3, Oilers Comfortably In 13th Place

One of the great things that the 2011-12 Edmonton Oilers will be remembered for is the bulk of their contributions to the scientific community. Key among those contributions is Tom Renney's certain Nobel Prize-winning discovery of bending spacetime in a large-scale environment. Yes, Vancouver is a juggernaut in all facets of the game and yes, Edmonton is a poor team in most facets of the game, but that domination should occur over stretches of time. Actually, the Oilers should be dominated over time in each of the games they play against superior opponents and let's face it, most of the teams in the league are superior at this point. But Renney's amazing discovery allows him to bend spacetime and ensure that the Oilers are dominated in the first 10 minutes of each and every game.

Thing are so bad that even the normally personality-free intermission interviews have become (whether purposefully or inadvertently is up in the air) interesting. Jordan Eberle in his "I calls 'em likes I sees 'em" moment said the Oilers stunk in the first. Only the most heavily programmed of the stepfords remain optimistic now.

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The Good

No one gets a nod tonight. Even when they created, they turned around and gave it back. Six years. Six years of this and nothing to show for it. It's okay though, all of the pieces are in place.

The Bad

It took Ryan Whitney 13 games to admit that he was too injured to play the game. The Warrior's Code is garbage when it costs your team goals and games.

The Ugly

As has been their custom, the Oilers had their hats stuffed down their throats tonight. Their inability to play hockey in the first period is frustrating, but totally expected at this point. The media is going to put the blame on the veteran players, not Tom Renney, no never an Oilers staff member, and Edmonton fans will turn on everyone except Ryan Smyth.

The Oilers are now 8-15-1 in the last 24 and sit squarely in 13th place. They have just a 7 point lead on the Ducks in the West. We'll always have the Barons?

Top 9 forward Ben Eager played 9 minutes tonight, didn't register a shot, took 4 minutes in penalties and watched as two goals were scored against his line.

Noted Sedins-killer Darcy Hordichuk played a whole 1:35 tonight and really throttled the Sedin line.

The Copper & Blue Three Stars:

★★★ - Bendable Spacetime

★★ - Jonathan Huberdeau

★ - Mark Stone

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