Taylor Hall, The Kingston Cannonball
The Chicoutimi Cucumber. The Golden Jet. The Edmonton Express. The Rocket. The Stratford Streak. Old Poison. The Pembroke Peach. The Hammer. The Russian Rocket.
These are all nicknames of a day gone by. They are descriptive and flowing. They tell a story and describe the player at the same time. They are as well-known as the players themselves.
Hemmer. Kopi. Big Buff. Sid The Kid. Horc. King Henrik. Brownie. Poni. Greener. Lupes. Vinny. Gabby. Lehts. Big Georges. Sammy. Scottie. Dewey.
These are all nicknames capturing the present group of players in the NHL. They are all based off of the player's name, and in most cases are simply a shortened version of the player's name. They are unimaginative and abrupt. Nicknames given to today's players are, for the most part, boring and uninspiring. Critics might say that boring and uninspiring nicknames are perfect for a boring and uninspiring league.
As the Edmonton Oilers begin rebuilding their broken-down franchise, Edmonton fans have a chance to rebuild the NHL tradition of creative nicknames.
The current generation of Oilers' nicknames are the same name-based or name-shortened monikers I described above: Hemmer, Horc, Gibby, Ladi - there is nothing special except for The Bulin Wall, which isn't a very good nickname in the first place. Darryl Reaugh has pushed "Studley Wonderbomb" for Sheldon Souray, but that's never caught on. As for the coming generation of Oilers, Anton Lander has told us that his nickname is "The Lamp", Magnus Paajarvi let us know about "Päjjan", and Bob MacKenzie has been pushing "Baby-Faced Assassin" for Jordan Eberle.
That leaves us Taylor Hall. Though he was born in Calgary, Hall came of age after his family moved east, and it was in Kingston, Ontario that the kid turned himself into a national name. He's fast, strong, quick, instinctive, and agile. He plays the game at full speed with and without the puck, alternatively bounding over the ice and slamming into the play headfirst.
But there is one word universally used to describe Hall.
Bruins Draft Watch said:
Explosive, dynamic game-breaker who has repeatedly demonstrated high-end goal scoring ability and a will to win. Blasts up to top speed in just a few strides and is a master of his edges, able to stop on a dime and change direction rapidly.
The Scouting Report echoed that:
When you describe Hall’s game, the first word that comes to mind is explosive.
And Bob MacKenzie threw in another adjective that helps out:
...takes the puck to the net with equal amounts of skill and recklessness...
Reckless. Dynamic. Blasts. Most of all, explosive. Hall's game is one of throwing himself headlong into the defense, pounding into defenders or empty spaces, and attacking the net. Nearly every scouting report written about Hall uses the same word: explosive. Hall heading into the offensive zone straight at the defense brings to mind visions of British artillery tearing into Allix's division at Waterloo. It's his explosiveness the Oilers are counting on to carry him through his first season in the NHL. It's his explosiveness that will propel the Oilers out of the basement. It is his single most identifiable trait, and one that should stay with him throughout his career.
It is in this vein that I submit to you Taylor Hall's new, but old-time nickname: The Kingston Cannonball.
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Those are some brilliant nicknames (old school). I found ‘Old Poison’ most interesting, and Nels Stewart was as interesting a hockey player as his nickname implies.
The trick with these nicknames is to employ them ad nauseaum on blogs like LT did with Magnificent Bastard and they should start to catch on. Or send an e-mail to what-his-name who’s calling the Oilers games and make the suggestion.
And we could change Smid’s nickname to Mr. Glass.
Always loved that nickname “Old Poison”. One of the best.
Great to see more love for Howie Morenz too.
Writer for The Copper & Blue and primary shareholder of Zorg Industries
"Never be ashamed of who you are" -- Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg
by Bruce McCurdy on Sep 5, 2010 10:13 AM MDT up reply actions
It’s funny, but meaningless really. Haha, his last name is a national pickle bottler.
Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.
Still better than 99% of current nicknames.
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by PPP on Sep 8, 2010 8:23 AM MDT up reply actions
Beats the alternatives, which would seem to be “Vlass”, “Vlasser”, or “Vlassy”
Ugh
Writer for The Copper & Blue and primary shareholder of Zorg Industries
"Never be ashamed of who you are" -- Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg
by Bruce McCurdy on Sep 8, 2010 11:50 AM MDT up reply actions
I hope that Lander’s nickname of “the Lamp” has more to do with phonetic similarities or his personality than foot-speed. It doesn’t seem to be related to his goal scoring prowess…
He was probably a goal-scoring machine wherever he was playing at the age of, say, 14 (most future NHL forwards are, I suspect), so maybe the nickname dates back to then.
by sarcasticidealist on Sep 5, 2010 3:14 PM MDT up reply actions
Perhaps it’s to do with his leadership? He’s a guiding light?
I have no idea, I’m just guessing.
Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.
I like it. Pardon my ignorance, but who’s the Edmonton Express?
by sarcasticidealist on Sep 5, 2010 3:13 PM MDT reply actions
I’m wondering myself if we even need “Kingston” in the nickname. “Cannonball” sounds just as awesome, maybe with a “!” at the end.
“Cannonbaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!”
Also, colour me a fan of Patrick Thoresen, the Electric Norseman. That was a beauty. And I personally tried to start Stortini as “Sasquatch”, but to no avail. To me, he just looks like that missing link in the evolutionary timepiece.
I like your suggestion, dorito
‘Cannonball’ Hall is very catchy, in my opinion.
by TakeoutArtist on Sep 6, 2010 12:42 AM MDT up reply actions
I’m wondering myself if we even need "Kingston" in the nickname.
Without Kingston, it sounds like a fat kid jumping into the pool. There’s no flow to it.
Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.
Patrick Thoresen oughta be Ol’ Ball Bearings. Or something.
"Essentially, all models are wrong, but some are useful" George E.P. Box
by Knee high to a duck on Sep 7, 2010 5:10 PM MDT up reply actions
It’s my understanding that a lot of those old nicknames were media creations. (I could be wrong here.) Given that the modern sportswriter doesn’t seem to have the same literary flair for description and metaphor that his/her counterpart of 50-100 years ago did, it’s hardly a surprise that we get a bunch of locker room names and “Alexander the Gr8.”
And what are we going to call Sid the Kid when he’s 28? Half the League will be younger than him by then.
Finally, isn’t Hall originally from Calgary?
SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there). Link now 100% less broken.
Incidentally, this point could also lead me into a more general rant on the state of education and the fact that kids can’t fucking write anymore, but that would be a digression.
SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there). Link now 100% less broken.
That has more to do with the prevalence of tv and the internet and how well it encourages people to shorten their thinking into random little soundbites (partly why Twitter works so well). Neil Postman described that process early on.
By the way, I’m not sure who it would fit, but Postman would be a great nickname – Penner maybe (always delivers the mail?).
That’s also true, but I have to say, in the time since I graduated from high school (ten years), standards have slipped noticeably in terms of writing. I read/edit undergraduate papers and wonder how the hell these people passed English 30. Bad sentence structure, poor word choice, poor organization…it’s a Goddamned mess, with very few exceptions. It’s like the high schools expect the universities to fix their writing or something. It’s maddening.
SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there). Link now 100% less broken.
You sound like a MSM type moaning about bloggers.
Writer for The Copper & Blue and primary shareholder of Zorg Industries
"Never be ashamed of who you are" -- Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg
by Bruce McCurdy on Sep 6, 2010 10:46 AM MDT up reply actions
True, in the sense that I don’t see much from people who go into English: my sample is somewhat biased because most of the students I’ve read have been from the sciences. Still, the basic level of proficiency seems awfully low to me.
SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there). Link now 100% less broken.
In part you have to blame curriculum makers for watering down expectations for students – catering to the lowest common denominator to increase their sense of esteem, etc. Combine this with a general disdain for teachers/authorities add in a dash of internet inspired mangling of grammar and structure (helped by omnipresent adverts) and you have an educational system that does not strive for literary success with its students, hoping instead for an ability to find spellcheck as needed.
Teachers are at fault, but so is everyone else.
Don’t even get me started on not holding kids back anymore when they fail a grade because it hurts their widdwe feewings. Back in my day, if you couldn’t do Grade 2 math and spelling, you didn’t go on to Grade 3.
God, I feel like a crotchety old fart. Must be my birthday coming up in a week.
SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there). Link now 100% less broken.
Nah, he’s talking about the basics of communication. He’s not griping because it’s a new medium, he’s griping because it’s headache-inducing to read that stuff.
Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.
u r rite
Writer for The Copper & Blue and primary shareholder of Zorg Industries
"Never be ashamed of who you are" -- Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg
by Bruce McCurdy on Sep 6, 2010 3:50 PM MDT up reply actions
Though Bruce is also right: much like the MSM rails against the Eklundian assholes, and not good bloggers like the crew here or PPP or elsewhere, I’m probably railing more against science majors who got by with 70s in English than English majors who can write their way out of a paper bag.
Also, obligatory apostrophe abuse comment and link to Bob the Angry Flower here.
SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there). Link now 100% less broken.
I like that I don’t even have to throw in the link: everyone just knows the precise strip I’m talking about. Probably because they saw it on some poor downtrodden TA’s door several years ago.
SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there). Link now 100% less broken.
I am part of the new media and I’m creating this.
Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.
Finally, isn’t Hall originally from Calgary?
So what’s your point? When Calgary starts crediting the likes of Jarome Iginla, Daymond Langkow, Dion Phaneuf, Jay Bouwmeester etfc. with their place of origin, maybe we’ll think about doing the same. ’Til then, screw Calgary.
Writer for The Copper & Blue and primary shareholder of Zorg Industries
"Never be ashamed of who you are" -- Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg
by Bruce McCurdy on Sep 6, 2010 1:29 AM MDT up reply actions
Fine by me. I’m from Drumheller. Fuck Calgary. ;)
SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there). Link now 100% less broken.
Finally, isn’t Hall originally from Calgary?
Eddie Shore was born in Saskatchewan, but was nicknamed “The Edmonton Express”
Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.
Fair enough.
SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there). Link now 100% less broken.
The Kingston Cannonball got his break when he got the Hall out of Calgary.
Writer for The Copper & Blue and primary shareholder of Zorg Industries
"Never be ashamed of who you are" -- Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg
by Bruce McCurdy on Sep 6, 2010 10:48 AM MDT up reply actions 1 recs
Nice.
SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there). Link now 100% less broken.
I love the nickname. It’s got a real ring to it and really flows. It even rhymes with his name. Tall Hall – the Kingston Cannonball. Very catchy indeed.
Thanks! I’ll write more about him in the next few weeks.
Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.
Something tells me you won’t be the only one. :|
Writer for The Copper & Blue and primary shareholder of Zorg Industries
"Never be ashamed of who you are" -- Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg
by Bruce McCurdy on Sep 6, 2010 3:39 PM MDT up reply actions
I still favour “Cyclone” Taylor Hall, though Cannonball Hall has a good ring to it as well.
by David Staples @ The Cult of Hockey on Sep 8, 2010 9:15 AM MDT reply actions

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