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Oilers Haiku!

Oh Jari Kurri
Team Finland always medals
Please rescue Oilers

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Oh no...

You’re not suggesting that Jari Kurri might be the person who could rescue the Oilers, are you? He has next to nothing to do with the medals Team Finland has won, his position as a GM is almost purely ceremonial. The coaching staff is appointed by Kalervo Kummola and the players are selected by the coaching staff.

by ehuisman on Mar 31, 2010 11:28 AM MDT reply actions  

You non-believers
will shed many frozen tears
when Kurri can’t help

Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.

by Derek Zona on Mar 31, 2010 6:40 PM MDT up reply actions  

Two Thousand And Six
Fernando Pisani’s Goals
What The Fuck Happened?

SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there). Link now 100% less broken.

by Doogie2K on Mar 31, 2010 11:54 AM MDT reply actions  

As an aside, a few years ago, I posted a full summary of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan as a series of haikus — ten or twelve of them in all — on the Television Without Pity forums, and I really wish I still had them. It was awesome.

SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there). Link now 100% less broken.

by Doogie2K on Mar 31, 2010 11:54 AM MDT up reply actions  

Oilers’ new first line:
Gagner, Nilsson, Patty O?
These lines aren’t that short.

by Benjamin Massey on Mar 31, 2010 12:03 PM MDT reply actions  

Edmonton’s goalies:
Handle the puck, make us laugh.
Each “save”, make us cry.

by Benjamin Massey on Mar 31, 2010 12:04 PM MDT reply actions  

Lottery pick time
Tambo to the Podium
Who the hell’s “Steve Kelly?”

SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there). Link now 100% less broken.

by Doogie2K on Mar 31, 2010 3:37 PM MDT reply actions  

Your 2010 Oilers: The Ballad of OTC

Horcov’s bum shoulder
Maginot’s drinking problem
And Studly’s glass wrist

Hemmer gets abused
Pouliot’s damned “pubis thing”
And Steady Steve’s head

Laco’s busted neck
Jones’ knee, we hardly knew ye
Red Ox beaned, alas

Brule’s got the flu
Zorg watches from upstairs while
Thecaptain still skates

Callups left and right
Plante, Arsene, Chorney, Motin
U of C goalie?!

Acid blotter for squat
Lubo fetches us something
Staios to the Flames!

Dubnyk gets the win
We clobbered the Sharks one time
Plan next year’s parade!

April’s here at last
The Hell March nears its endpoint
The High Level Bridge

Look to next year now
Ebs, Paajarvi, and Omark
Don’t fuck up that pick

SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there). Link now 100% less broken.

by Doogie2K on Mar 31, 2010 3:53 PM MDT reply actions   2 recs

The injury bug haiku – rec’d

Writer for The Copper & Blue and primary shareholder of Zorg Industries

"Never be ashamed of who you are" -- Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg

by Bruce McCurdy on Mar 31, 2010 6:27 PM MDT up reply actions  

Brule’s got the flu
Zorg watches from upstairs while
Thecaptain still skates

I’m pretty sure this could be the story of the season in 17 syllables.

Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.

by Derek Zona on Mar 31, 2010 6:38 PM MDT up reply actions  

Once you flew The Great
One over the blue; Today
Pucks tangle our twine.

- – -

A draft picks leaves; brought
Lowe with fear, Tambo
weaves, bobbleheaded.

by eddy the lip on Mar 31, 2010 3:57 PM MDT reply actions  

More haiku

than the rest. It’s about more than syllables. Nicely done!

by gamutalarm on Apr 3, 2010 4:42 PM MDT up reply actions  

We have a pair of winners here.

SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there). Link now 100% less broken.

by Doogie2K on Mar 31, 2010 4:02 PM MDT up reply actions  

The first one is pretty awesome.

by Scott Reynolds on Mar 31, 2010 4:03 PM MDT up reply actions  

I like that one a lot.

"While there's life, there's hope." --Cicero

by Baroque on Mar 31, 2010 6:34 PM MDT up reply actions  

I’m not going to top that one.

by Benjamin Massey on Mar 31, 2010 4:20 PM MDT up reply actions  

That first one is amazing. Thanks Matt!

Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.

by Derek Zona on Mar 31, 2010 6:36 PM MDT up reply actions  

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Northwest Standings

GP W L OTL PT
Vancouver 53 33 15 5 71
Minnesota 53 25 20 8 58
Colorado 55 27 25 3 57
Calgary 53 24 22 7 55
Edmonton 53 21 27 5 47

(updated 2.8.2012 at 7:10 AM MST)

21 - 27 - 5

Lost 1

Clear Victory Standings

Western Conference

  1. Detroit Red Wings (22-7, .759)
  2. San Jose Sharks (13-5, .722)
  3. Vancouver Canucks (17-7, .708)
  4. St. Louis Blues (12-6, .667)
  5. Chicago Blackhawks (16-12, .571)
  6. Los Angeles Kings (10-9, .526)
  7. Nashville Predators (11-10, .524)
  8. Phoenix Coyotes (12-12, .500)
  9. Dallas Stars (11-15, .423)
  10. Edmonton Oilers (11-15, .423)
  11. Anaheim Ducks (10-14, .417)
  12. Colorado Avalanche (9-13, .409)
  13. Calgary Flames (9-15, .375)
  14. Minnesota Wild (7-13,.350)
  15. Columbus Blue Jackets (5-19, .208)

Eastern Conference

  1. Boston Bruins (21-3, .875)
  2. New York Rangers (18-8, .692)
  3. Pittsburgh Penguins (16-9, .640)
  4. Philadelphia Flyers (14-11, .560)
  5. Toronto Maple Leafs (14-12, .538)
  6. Washington Capitals (14-13, .519)
  7. Montreal Canadiens (11-11, .500)
  8. New Jersey Devils (10-12, .455)
  9. Ottawa Senators (10-13, .435)
  10. Winnipeg Jets (10-14, .417)
  11. Carolina Hurricanes (9-13, .409)
  12. Florida Panthers (7-12, .368)
  13. Buffalo Sabres (7-14, .333)
  14. Tampa Bay Lightning (9-20, .310)
  15. New York Islanders (6-14, .300)

Division Standings

  1. Central (51-39, .567)
  2. Northeast (49-39, .557)
  3. Atlantic (45-37, .549)
  4. Pacific (37-36, .507)
  5. Northwest (34-44, .436)
  6. Southeast (33-54, .379)


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