"Oh Boy" Waking Up As Steve Tambellini

by Derek Zona on Feb 10, 2010 12:14 PM MST in Miscellaneous

Sam Beckett would be a welcome site at Rexall via cdn.picapp.com

Theorizing that one could time travel within their own lifetime, Edmonton Fans stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator, and vanished.

They awoke to find himself trapped in Rexall Place, facing mirror images that were not their own, and driven by an unknown force to change the Oilers for the better. Their only guide on this journey is Desjardins; an stathead from their own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Oiler Fans can see and hear. And so, the Edmonton Fans find themselves leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each time that their next leap, will be the leap to a cup.

When things are the most bleak, a man tends to retreat to the corners of his mind. Pain and misery quite often lead men to creative bursts and that is the platform I present to you today. The Oilers are a terrible team and talking about the nuances in the level of awfulness is getting to be a bit tedious and is sapping the collective creativity of the Copper & Blue. I have no idea how Islanders fans put up with this for so long.

So the excercise is simple. You step into the Quantum accelerator and vanish. You are transported to Rexall Place and upon opening the executive washroom, you face the mirror image of Steve Tambellini. "Oh Boy", indeed. The first thing you do after you check your pulse to make sure that you have been among the living all of this time is...

Name the single move that you make first and ONLY one move. We don't want a litany of trades and signings. It can be a trade, waiving someone, a signing, a front office move, it doesn't matter. We want to hear the first step you're going to take on this journey of a thousand miles.

Oh, and "fire myself" is not acceptable.

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Comments

How about “kill myself”?

by Benjamin Massey on Feb 10, 2010 12:21 PM MST reply actions

Actually, since firing myself is unacceptable, I’d do the next best thing and make a brazen, awful trade that would make the fans hate me and ensure I’d be sacked while not actually hurting the team much, long-term.

I’d probably deal with the Flames or Canucks, to make the hate build. Something like Souray and Visnovsky for an over-paid veteran or two with expiring contracts and youngsters in the Dustin Boyd mold.

by Benjamin Massey on Feb 10, 2010 12:23 PM MST up reply actions

Spend some time to evaluate my roster.

by ykmisfit on Feb 10, 2010 12:22 PM MST reply actions

HAHAHAHAHA

ykmisfit wins. Close the thread.

by MattF on Feb 10, 2010 12:32 PM MST up reply actions

It’s too early to say that. He didn’t even mention the word “courage”.

by Benjamin Massey on Feb 10, 2010 12:43 PM MST up reply actions

I visited the comment section to say exactly this. Damn!

Matchsticks and Gasoline
Fivehole fanatics

by Kent Wilson on Feb 10, 2010 2:34 PM MST up reply actions

Trade the next four first round picks to Vancouver

For Cory Schneider :-)

Ok, in all seriousness now. If the goaltending situation isn’t the first need to be addressed, then size clearly is. Package Nilson and Cogliano and beg a GM to take em for some size.

Waiving Ethan Moreau would be my close second. Though that is more of an addition by subtraction.

I am a Free Canadian
Real Eyes Realize Real Lies

by Temujin on Feb 10, 2010 1:04 PM MST reply actions

I have no idea how Islanders fans put up with this for so long.

I can’t speak for everyone, but in my case it closely relates to a well-stocked liquor cabinet.

Lighthouse Hockey: Under contract through 2021, knees and hips be damned.

by Dominik on Feb 10, 2010 1:36 PM MST reply actions

If I drank more, I’d never get on the transplant list.

Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.

by Derek Zona on Feb 10, 2010 3:31 PM MST up reply actions

“The Edmonton Oilers trade Ales Hemsky to the Boston Bruins for Michael Ryder, Toronto’s first and second round picks in 2010 & Toronto’s first round pick in 2011”

Let the rebuild begin, and UP YOURS BURKIE!

by Permaculture on Feb 10, 2010 1:59 PM MST reply actions

I love Ales like a son, but if we could actually do that trade, I’d take it. Like, now.

by Benjamin Massey on Feb 10, 2010 2:11 PM MST up reply actions

I’m surprised no one answered “push Kevin Lowe out of a window”

Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.

by Derek Zona on Feb 10, 2010 3:51 PM MST reply actions

Lowe isn’t really the problem. He’s the Claudius to Tambellini’s Sejanus.

by Benjamin Massey on Feb 10, 2010 4:18 PM MST up reply actions

Abduct and brainwash Alex Ovechkin.

"While there's life, there's hope." --Cicero

by Baroque on Feb 10, 2010 5:17 PM MST reply actions

Gonna need Ziggy to get you Ovechkin’s coordinates.

Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.

by Derek Zona on Feb 10, 2010 5:51 PM MST up reply actions

Is this the nerdiest thread we’ve ever had?

by Benjamin Massey on Feb 10, 2010 6:47 PM MST up reply actions

Roman Emporers and Quantum Leap quotes? Nah, not until Bruce and Scott jump in.

Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.

by Derek Zona on Feb 10, 2010 6:51 PM MST up reply actions

Hey!

Writer for The Copper & Blue and primary shareholder of Zorg Industries

"Never be ashamed of who you are" -- Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg

by Bruce McCurdy on Feb 10, 2010 7:54 PM MST up reply actions

talking about the nuances in the level of awfulness is getting to be a bit tedious and is sapping the collective creativity of the Copper & Blue

I repeat: Hey! I worked hard on that piece.

Writer for The Copper & Blue and primary shareholder of Zorg Industries

"Never be ashamed of who you are" -- Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg

by Bruce McCurdy on Feb 10, 2010 7:56 PM MST up reply actions

Heh. It was epic and inspired. I bet you find it hard-pressed to get that inspired over crappiness any time soon.

Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.

by Derek Zona on Feb 10, 2010 9:13 PM MST up reply actions

Unfortunately there’s not much else to get inspired by around here.

Writer for The Copper & Blue and primary shareholder of Zorg Industries

"Never be ashamed of who you are" -- Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg

by Bruce McCurdy on Feb 11, 2010 12:23 AM MST up reply actions

I’m this >< close to giving up and just writing pornographic Oilers fan fiction.

by Benjamin Massey on Feb 11, 2010 12:42 AM MST up reply actions

Yeah, when we get an astronomy reference and a biblical reference in here, they we’ve gone full geek.

Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.

by Derek Zona on Feb 10, 2010 9:13 PM MST up reply actions

Comments For This Post Are Closed

Northwest Standings

	GP	W	L	OTL	PT
Vancouver Nucks Misconduct	53	33	15	5	71
Minnesota Hockey Wilderness	53	25	20	8	58
Calgary Matchsticks and Gasoline	54	25	22	7	57
Colorado Mile High Hockey	55	27	25	3	57
Edmonton The Copper & Blue	54	21	28	5	47

(updated 2.9.2012 at 7:25 AM MST)

21 - 28 - 5

Streak: Lost 2

Oilers Schedule

Next 5 Games

@ Ottawa Silver Seven	Sat 02/11	12:00 PM MST
Toronto Pension Plan Puppets	Wed 02/15	8:00 PM MST
Colorado Mile High Hockey	Fri 02/17	7:30 PM MST
Vancouver Nucks Misconduct	Sun 02/19	7:00 PM MST
@ Calgary Matchsticks and Gasoline	Tue 02/21	7:00 PM MST

Last 5 Games

@ Detroit Winging It In Motown	Wed 02/08	L 2 - 4
@ Toronto Pension Plan Puppets	Mon 02/06	L 3 - 6
Detroit Winging It In Motown	Sat 02/04	SO - W 5 - 4
Chicago Second City Hockey	Thu 02/02	W 8 - 4
Colorado Mile High Hockey	Tue 01/31	W 3 - 2