FanPost

Oilers to go further without Gerber

News today that the Oilers had reassigned Martin Gerber to the AHL caused significant disquiet within the blogosphere given the veteran netminder's impressive play in two starts since his callup. "Martin has done quite well, especially for a guy who broke his neck," explained Oilers GM Tambellini at this morning's press conference, "but it is important to have our team MVP back." Tambellini was referring to Nicolai Khabibulin's recovery from a groin injury sustained when trying to hide a bottle of vodka down his pants after being pulled over by Edmonton traffic police on his way home from a bruising 5-0 loss to the Blackhawks on 17th November. When asked if he actually knows what 'MVP' stands for Tambellini froze, eventually snapping at reporters and threatening to park a zamboni up their asses if they didn't mind their own business. "Who the hell do you think you are asking all these questions?" he snorted before shouting "Go ask Kevin, he's the one who told me to say it" and storming off to re-assess his methods of assessing the team in preparation for a round of evaluating the possibilities for sustained period of team evaluation.

In other news, JF Jacques has been practicing hard to avoid stepping on cracks so as not to break his back. "It's the Edmonton sidewalks that do it," he revealed following practice at the rink in Montreal earlier today. "It happened twice last season where I'm just walking along thinking about how good Strudders is in the room and, bang, I step on a crack and I just break my back". GM Steve Tambellini has asked the City of Edmonton to assess whether a programme of sidewalk crack removal might be a possible as part of the rebuild. "We hear that this was a big part of the Chicago model and significantly reduced their games lost to injury," Tambellini commented in a private text to Robin Brownlee of OilersNation which was later mysteriously posted on Wikileaks.


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