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'Twas the night before Oilers Christmas

Editor's note:  This poem was originally published December 24th, 2009. 

 

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the city

Everyone was saying "Man, the Oilers are shitty."

The losses were mounting and mangement didn't care,

The old Irish coach had adopted MacT's thousand yard stare

The fans left the Oilers, mostly for dead,

While visions of lottery picks danced in their heads;

Taylor Hall or Tyler Seguin, those are the chaps,

that shall be tasked with bringing the glory back.

Star-divide


In the front office there was nary a clatter,

It seemed that the honchos saw nothing the matter.

Talk of the arena and they were there in a flash,

Ask for a roster fix and Tambellini looked like he had a rash.

A couple of cheap veterans would make the team go

But cheap veterans were not a whale to follow.

For all intents and purposes, it did appear,

That Tambellini and Lowe had their heads in their rear.

They blamed injuries and rookies that didn't stick,

The fans saw through their filthy trick.

The fans pleaded for forwards that could play the game,

"It's been four years!  You gave us more of the same!"

Being an Oiler fan had become an affliction

Gone were the days of Oilers addiction.

The bright spots were limited to old-timers joining the hall,

When they left, the franchise began a precipitous fall.

It was hard not to think of days long gone by,

Especially since their current team didn't seem to try.

The anger of the fanbase grew and grew,

They hoped that another playoff miss would mean Lowe was through.

The man once asked "Is it me?"

The fanbase affirmed it with glee.

There was no hope of turning things around,

Not when the franchise was still run by clowns.

Then the man in charge gave them the boot

The fans all thought it was a great hoot.

"A competent man will bring the glory back,"

"A management team to put us on the right track."

The fans, they exhaled, they wanted to be merry,

But four years of pain had made them wary

They were willing to give the new man a chance though

To see what sort of seeds he would sow

They gritted their teeth and squinted their eyes

And off in the distance they could see the prize;

The new man did well, he built a balanced roster,

He brought winning thoughts and a new attitude he did foster.

He brought in veterans and men of skill

He brought in players that knew the drill.

He was crafty and smart and knew the act

He didn't give away multi-year over thirty-five contracts;

He was not flashy, he just did his work,

His top-notch negotiation skills were another perk.

His teams won him cups and they were again adored,

He told the fans it was all for them and they gave a mighty roar.

I awoke from my dream all tired and bleary

It's still 2009, and the Oilers are still dreary.

My story is a wish of course, but I still see the sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

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Thanks. Once I got started, it just flowed.

Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.

by Derek Zona on Dec 26, 2009 2:34 PM MST up reply actions  

The losses were mounting and mangement didn’t care

dont we want that to happen though

by SumOil on Dec 24, 2009 5:55 PM MST reply actions  

Some of us apparently do.

Writer for The Copper & Blue and primary shareholder of Zorg Industries

by Bruce McCurdy on Dec 24, 2009 8:27 PM MST up reply actions  

I think the some who do heavily outnumber the some who don’t.

Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.

by Derek Zona on Dec 26, 2009 2:35 PM MST up reply actions  

So you’re saying I shouldn’t feel bad for unsubscribing from the Oilers’ audio and video podcasts?

SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there). Link now 100% less broken.

by Doogie2K on Dec 26, 2009 12:00 AM MST reply actions  

Well, you should feel bad in that you won’t get to hear Quinn’s funnies.

Editor of The Copper & Blue, and leader of The Cult Of Hartikainen.

by Derek Zona on Dec 26, 2009 2:34 PM MST up reply actions  

Wow….still it’s so brilliant and so relevant!

by SumOil on Dec 24, 2010 5:06 PM MST reply actions  

SEEN IT

Manager at Vancouver Whitecaps and western Canadian soccer website Eighty Six Forever and infrequently-posting flunky at Edmonton Oilers blog The Copper & Blue.

by Benjamin Massey on Dec 24, 2010 6:04 PM MST reply actions  

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Northwest Standings

GP W L OTL PT
Vancouver 52 32 15 5 69
Minnesota 52 25 19 8 58
Calgary 53 24 22 7 55
Colorado 54 26 25 3 55
Edmonton 53 21 27 5 47

(updated 2.7.2012 at 7:26 AM MST)

21 - 27 - 5

Lost 1

Clear Victory Standings

Western Conference

  1. Detroit Red Wings (22-7, .759)
  2. San Jose Sharks (13-5, .722)
  3. Vancouver Canucks (17-7, .708)
  4. St. Louis Blues (11-6, .647)
  5. Chicago Blackhawks (16-11, .593)
  6. Nashville Predators (11-10, .524)
  7. Los Angeles Kings (9-9, .500)
  8. Phoenix Coyotes (11-12, .478)
  9. Dallas Stars (11-14, .440)
  10. Edmonton Oilers (11-15, .423)
  11. Anaheim Ducks (10-14, .417)
  12. Colorado Avalanche (8-13, .381)
  13. Calgary Flames (9-15, .375)
  14. Minnesota Wild (7-13,.350)
  15. Columbus Blue Jackets (5-19, .208)

Eastern Conference

  1. Boston Bruins (21-3, .875)
  2. New York Rangers (18-8, .692)
  3. Pittsburgh Penguins (16-9, .640)
  4. Philadelphia Flyers (14-11, .560)
  5. Toronto Maple Leafs (14-12, .538)
  6. Washington Capitals (13-13, .500)
  7. Montreal Canadiens (11-11, .500)
  8. Ottawa Senators (10-12, .455)
  9. New Jersey Devils (10-12, .455)
  10. Winnipeg Jets (10-14, .417)
  11. Carolina Hurricanes (9-13, .409)
  12. Florida Panthers (7-11, .389)
  13. Buffalo Sabres (7-14, .333)
  14. Tampa Bay Lightning (9-19, .321)
  15. New York Islanders (6-14, .300)

Division Standings

  1. Central (50-38, .568)
  2. Northeast (49-38, .563)
  3. Atlantic (45-37, .549)
  4. Pacific (36-36, .500)
  5. Northwest (33-44, .429)
  6. Southeast (33-53, .384)


Managing Editor

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