Stortini Scores - Rewrite The Caption...

Oilers’ right winger Bruce McCurdy Jr. tries to ignore the knowing glances from defencemen Lubomir Visnovsky and Taylor Chorney as they realize that their teammate has indeed sold his soul to Satan.

“Edmonton Oilers right wing Zack Stortini, right, skates to the bench with teammates Taylor Chorney, left, and Lubomir Visnovsky, of Russia Slovakia, center, after Stortini scored his first goal of the game against the Nashville Predators in the first period of an NHL hockey game in Nashville, Tenn., Monday, Oct. 12, 2009. Stortini had two goals as the Oilers won 6-1.”

Not sure why the fixation on what country the player is from in these auto-captions we get from AP, but they should at least get them right.

Lubomir Visnovsky looking at the new sniper in town!!

Edmonton Oilers winger Zack Stortini, right, from Obscurity, skates back to the bench after scoring his first of two goals. Not pictured: Ales Hemsky of the Czech Republic passed out in the trainer’s room after Stortini performed a crude hand transplant.

A window on their conversation:

Visnovsky: Hey big guy, nice job on the PP, best right wing on the team eh?
Chorney: Guys, this is my first NHL point.
Stortini: Shut up rookie, this is my night.

Oilers defenceman Taylor Chorney, left, curses under his breath as his first NHL point is ignored by teammate Lubomir Visnovsky, centre, in favour of Zack Stortini, right, and his sudden goal-scoring ability,

Visnovsky: What the hell were you doing out on a power play?
Chorney: Yeah, did Quinn think your 46 was a 16 and you were Bobby Clarke or something?
Stortini: I told the coach, I was like, “It’s cool, I got this, I used to play hockey when I was in high school,” and he was like, “okay.”
Visnovsky: And I’m playing fifteen minutes a night because…?

Oilers rookie Taylor Chorney (left) looks on in disgust as Sasquatch joins in celebration of Chorney’s first NHL point. Later, Sasquatch scores on Nashville backup goalie Dan Ellis and steals Ranger Gord’s beer as part of Oilers’ 6-1 win last night.